In this post, I am sharing another piece I wrote a while back in the midst of my journey towards happiness. This piece is especially important to me, and I have high hopes that it will help those also struggling to find their happiness mentality I have, and still am, seeking.
A Life You Are Proud Of
I have struggled with true happiness. Specifically, what makes me happy, and what people are good influences in my life.
Things that I am proud of; difficult question. Am I proud of my life so far? No. But am I proud of the progress I have made, even in the simplest of things? Absolutely.
For many years, I have sulked in my moods.
Whether it was sitting on the floor, laying in my bed, or sitting at my desk at school; it didn’t matter where I was. Depression would come out of nowhere and hit me like a wall. I would go into my depressive coma all day. I would be stuck there for days, even weeks.
And somehow, something just clicked.
I accepted my hardships. I chose to ignore the depressive feelings I feel and have felt on a day-to-day basis. I chose to stand up, and grow up. To move forward from things that cause me mental and physical hurt, but most importantly, vulnerability.
I have chosen to get up and go through each day like it is my last, as I have come too close to death too many times, and now have such a great appreciation for the life I was blessed with.
I challenged myself to live a life I am proud of.
To stop the sulking, the questioning, the apologizing, regretting, and self hatred. To move forward from people who don’t want to change, and those who don’t have the strength to change like you do. Who don’t want what you want in life. Who sit back and sulk instead of moving forward and taking the chances and risks they desperately need to live a life they are proud of.
To get up every morning with a purpose like no other. To stop turning tables, and to begin to enjoy the cards that you were dealt. To stop sulking in the shadows that you have created for yourself through a jaded lens of anxiety and depression. To get up and move forward. Be yourself. Enjoy the moments. Live the life you have always dreamed of. To live a life you are proud of.
And for what it is worth, there is always time to turn around. To choose to live, and truly live.
To be whoever you want to be.
Live a life you’re proud of.
(Written in April 2016)
"Our shoes are tattered and torn, but our feet are dry. As for our places in history, we will run naked through your streets before we sit decorated in your halls."