There's no way for you to cure it. There's no way for you to stop it. You didn't cause it; it just happened.
Life presents it's ups and downs on a daily basis. I have encountered them myself, practiced unhealthy coping skills, and done things I am not proud of, but I am here today, alive and well. Its the shock of a lifetime when someone you love gets diagnosed with a mental illness. I have experienced it one too many times, but I have learned from the experiences I have gone through, and have developed ways to help the people you love who are struggling.
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I'm sitting on my couch before move in day. It is early in the afternoon, maybe three? Looking through the screened in porch at the trees waving in the wind, I find myself thinking about college, and how incredibly ready I was, or I thought I was. I almost felt like a ghost in the garden. Completely surrounded by growth, yet unseen by all. Was I really leaving? Or was I imagining something that seemed so incredibly unreal. When move in day came around, I was mixed with emotions. Every time I thought about home, I would feel sad. Every time I thought about college, I would feel happy, sad, anxious, and just about everything in-between. Every time I would get emotional, I would remember the undulating hills of the green mountains, and calm down. Yet, in the calm of the storm, I still felt mixed and again, everything in-between.
Now, a week after move in day, I have never been more in touch, yet more out of touch, with both myself, and the people around me.
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Caroline Loftus "Our shoes are tattered and torn, but our feet are dry. As for our places in history, we will run naked through your streets before we sit decorated in your halls." Archives
January 2017
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